Contained Emotions

Searching for the right words, I look into her eyes. but instead of thinking about what to say, I am retracted from this tense and pressure-filled atmosphere and find myself located in a dense cloud of longing as I gaze into the depths of those dark brown eyes. she looks so innocent as she awaits my answer, but I no longer remember what she asked of me. the rumble of voices and the screeching of chairs fade into white noise. I only see her. There is no one else, there is only her and I, in this confinement of contained emotion. a strain appears over my chest, my breathing shallow. She just stands there, a questioning fog passing over her. a hunger erupts inside of me. my hands are itching to reach out toward her, right across the stretches of galaxy between us. before I could fully comprehend what I’m doing, I feel myself moving forward. I could see her eyes widening as my hands find her arms, the cool, smooth touch of them sending vibrations throughout my body. I am four inches away from her perfectly full lips when I sense her going rigid, her body slightly leaning away from me. I stop, realization settling in my stomach. I have to go. I sit down on the back steps of the hotel bar, my forehead resting on my bony knees. I don’t know how I got out of the bar, because all I remember is the uncontrollable desire that coursed through me, replacing blood and sinew. My heart is going so slow, for a second I doubt it’s beating at all. the rain pitters around me, my hands pressing to the damp concrete around me. they go white with pressure.