Drowning in Colors

the world swirls into color around me. red, blue, yellow, maroon, washing my hair and allowing me to see, even while my eyes are closed. my heart beats in my ears instead of my chest, my breathing stops completely. The water whipping me and tangling my hair suddenly seems silent. i feel a strain in my chest, my lungs, but it seems as distant as the surface of this ocean. my numb fingers curl in on themselves. I am floating. i am no longer on this torturous earth, where people hurt, bully, abuse, take advantage, betray, scheme... i am free.

a burning gradually takes over my whole being. it starts in my chest, my lungs, working its way up my throat, into my stomach, taking over my thoughts. it's so intense i want to scream, but at the same time i want to inhale the rivers of rainbow. my bones are in flames, even though I’m drowning. my muscles ache and strain. if i make one move to swim, I'll explode. or disintegrate altogether.

i am falling, even though i am perfectly still. i think I’m crying, but i can't be sure. my tears and the ocean merge instantly. as if this is what was supposed to happen all along.

I am suppose to go this way.

this is my time.

And through the burning in me, the popping in my ears, the silent begging of my mind--I find peace settling over me in a fog. and that's when i realize my life is already over.

there is no moving forward.

my eyes drift open to see the world one last time.

The water is bleak and cold as i suck in a little through my nose. instantly, i begin to cough and choke and shake. but all that does is invite more and more water to come rushing down my throat, filling my head and lungs.

My chest expands as i take my last breath.

then the world is silent as my heart stops and my vision blurs. #Drowningincolors #MelodyInkwell #Tragic #peaceful